Governmentium
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element
known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to
take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a
normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's
mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is
formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass."

You will know it when you see it.

category: political  date entered: 2012-02-06