Sings of the Times
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver read:

"We will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you."


Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”


In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.”


On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.”


On a Plumber's truck :

"We repair what your husband fixed.”


On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout.”


On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.”


In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”


On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.”


At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”


Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”


At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will
be de-lighted.”


In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”


In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”


At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.”


In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”


Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

category: puns  date entered: 2017-04-09