Yankee Engineering Test
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. In response to the criticism
of the southern mind-set and political beliefs the following challenge is issued.

We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the Southern States
Professional Engineer Licensing Department:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford
Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet, a 67 Chevelle, or a '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how
many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot
to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the
percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span
is 8 feet and the porch length is16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%.
The man has five children. Can each of his grown children put a mobile home on the man's land
and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 9000 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road
at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability
that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates in a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners
per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered
Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town
that has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

category: cultural  date entered: 2005-12-20