Funny Bumper Stickers
Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
Justice: A decision in your favour.
Kill them all! ... Let God sort them out.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
Life in a vacuum sucks.
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
So many lawyers, so few bullets.
So many pedestrians, so little time.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
Was today really necessary?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
Who is "they" anyway?
Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
You can't have everything...where would you put it?
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
"Calm down. It's only ones and zeros."
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I may be fat, but your ugly - I can lose weight!
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!
Old musicians don't die... they just decompose.
God may have made man first, but there is always a ruff draft before a final copy.
The only real difference between an oral and rectal thermometer is the taste.
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Lottery: A tax on people who don't understand statistics.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
A man is not complete until he is married -- then he is finished.
Marriage is not a word: it is a sentence.
Im not as think as you drunk i am.
I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar.
You show the sensitivity of a Medieval Dentist.
To Err is human, to forgive is simply not our policy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
REHAB is for quitters.
Death to all fanatics!
It's all fun and games, 'till someone loses an eye! Then it's a *SPORT*
Never run after buses or women: you'll always get left behind.
You're only young once; you can be immature forever
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
"Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4."
"I tried to think but nothing happened!" - Curly
"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"
Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
"I am logged in, therefore I am."
A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A pessimist is never disappointed.
All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
Alone: In bad company.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?
Always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
Black holes really suck...
Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Facts are stubborn things.
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
I am built for comfort, not speed!
I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
I think, therefore I am. I think.
I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I save time, when do I get it back ?
If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing .
If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!

category: general  date entered: 2006-03-26