Kid Stories
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
"Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you
expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She
was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room. A long silence was broken at last
by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."
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A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were
lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until
the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
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Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission
to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a
pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all Israelites
were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it."
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It was that time during the morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children
were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as
she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your
Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and
my Mom says it's hell to iron."
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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently
reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if
that made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied,
"Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

category: children  date entered: 2006-03-26