Environmentally Responsible Christmas
Re-post of article (tale of woe) as submitted to "My Word" column of local newspaper in December, 1995
- by Sandra M. Weld, Florida:

ENVIRONMENTALLY RESPONSIBLE CHRISTMAS TREE? HO, HO, HA, HA

In 1990, my husband, Skip, and I were swept up in the national wave of passion to protect
our Earth. We had always bought fresh-cut Christmas trees, but never one with the root ball
still in place. That year, we decided to be environmentally responsible and buy a live Christmas
tree to plant and enjoy for years. Never again would a defenseless tree have to give up its life
for our enjoyment.

The idea was so well-received by my friends at work that they wanted to do the same. I
found a Georgia tree-farm wholesaler to sell us a truckload of trees for only $25. each.

The excitement of the early-December arrival somewhat left us when we tried to "lift" the
trees. Many a car labored out of our office parking lot with its rear suspension dragging under
the incredible weight.

Skip and I grunted and groaned, finally unloading the tree, dragging it inside the house.
The festive brass planter I had borrowed for the occasion was not big enough for the root ball.
I had to buy a larger pot that was more expensive than the tree. We finally wrestled the tree
into the pot and tipped it upright. Once decorated, it was our most beautiful tree ever.

Just before Christmas, I was rearranging gifts under the tree when I noticed little black
specks on some of the wrapping paper.

As I was investigating, I heard a loud crack as the pot broke under the weight of the
root ball. As the tree began to tumble down, all I could do was to catch it and yell for help.

While Skip was looking for materials to prop up the tree, I was trapped, holding it
upright. To my horror, I discovered that those little black specks were dead spiders, and their
living relatives...now disturbed...were dropping out of the tree and on me.

Skip shored up the tree with concrete blocks while I exterminated the spiders and covered
the blocks with a red tablecloth. We enjoyed the tree through Christmas and into January.

It was Arbor Day in late January when I decided to plant the tree. While digging, I came
upon some hard-pan soil. I chipped at it with my shovel but had to call on Skip's strength to
break through. As the hole neared completion, one last fateful blow with the shovel resulted in
a fountain as the water main burst. We were definitely losing our enthusiasm for this
environmentally responsible project.

We tried to fix the break ourselves, but our repair leaked. We arranged for a
plumber to come out the next day. We turned the water off and went out for dinner. We returned
to a flooded family room. We found out too late that when you shut off the water supply, you
must also shut off the electricity to the water heater or its element will burn up. We added a
new water heater to the plumber's list.

Finally, we planted the tree and dutifully kept it watered and fertilized, according to
the grower's instructions. By this time, our little "environmentally responsible" tree had cost
us hundreds of dollars.

The tree had one final surprise for us: It died.

This Christmas, I'm looking for a deal on one of those "environmentally responsible"
artificial trees.




category: general  date entered: 2006-03-26